Wedding Gifting Etiquette: How Much to Give (and How to Keep Track)

Few questions cause as much quiet anxiety as "how much should we give?" Here's a clear, judgement-free guide.

What shapes the right amount

Three things: your relationship to the family, what they once gave you, and local custom. Close family typically give more; the key principle in traditions like Wartaav and Shagun is reciprocity — you return a gift of equal or slightly greater value than what that family gave at your celebration.

Why a record matters

Reciprocity only works if you remember. This is exactly why Kashmiri families keep a Wartaav diary — a running record of who gave what, so future gifts can be returned fairly. Read our full guide to Wartaav to understand the tradition and how to keep it.

Cash, gifts, or both?

Cash is common and practical, but a thoughtful handcrafted gift can mean more. Many families do both — a token gift plus a Shagun envelope. If you'd like something meaningful, you can find handcrafted gifts from local artisans on Dawat Book.

How to track it without the stress

Instead of a notebook that can be lost, record each gift digitally as it arrives. Dawat Book lets you log the giver, amount, and occasion in seconds and look it up years later when it's your turn to give.